Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
