small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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