The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
