I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
