You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
