i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
