Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
