More tranny stories later!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We have started to decorate penises.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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