hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
