I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize