The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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