So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
