yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
