White coat. Heels.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Success! We fucked roommates!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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