why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
