wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
