I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize