You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
