its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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