this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
