He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
