i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
