dude i'm inner monologue high
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
