god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
home. puking in laundry basket.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
