His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
