idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
don't judge my taste in strippers
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
