how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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