Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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