ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
