Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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