Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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