For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
