you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
