I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
