He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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