...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
