This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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