oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
