Plan B is the new Plan A
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
