doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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