My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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