he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
