I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
