if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize