Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
