Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
