I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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