OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
