does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize