You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
