Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
