is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This is my gift to your gina
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
