He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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