I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
