Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
