I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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