i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
