considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
